7-Domestic Violence MURDERED: Annamarie Cochran Rintala

Hi Warriors, welcome to 1 in 3. I'm your host, ingrid. The story I'm going to tell you today may sound familiar to some. That's because it evolves into a case that made history. History, since this is the first time a woman was charged with murdering her same sex spouse in the state of Massachusetts. This is the story of Anna Marie Cochran-Rintala and Kara Rintala. In my first episode, i explained how domestic violence affects everyone, regardless of gender or sexuality. In just the few episodes since then, it has become quite clear how both men and women in heterosexual relationships are capable of being the victim or the abuser. The LGBTQ community is also largely affected and, in fact, faces additional difficulties. Intimate partner violence within this subgroup occurs at an equal amount, if not more, than the heterosexual subgroup. According to the National Coalition of Domestic Violence, 43.8% of lesbian women and 61.1% of bisexual women have experienced rape, physical violence and or stalking, compared to 35% of heterosexual women. Within their lifetime, 26% of gay men and 37.3% of bisexual men have experienced rape, physical violence and or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 29% of heterosexual men. According to data from 2012, there were less than 5% of LGBTQ survivors who attempted to obtain orders of protection. I mentioned Unique Hurdles the LGBTQ community faces in dealing with domestic violence. I have to be honest, i didn't even think of this one. Threats to quote out their partner to family, jobs, public, etc. Of course, this specific concern could play a role in the victim's reluctancy to seek help. In addition to this previous trauma from bullying or hate crimes may deter asking for help. And even beyond these obstacles, transgender victims have a higher likelihood of harassment, intimidation and threats. Prejudice against or misunderstanding of the LGBTQ lifestyle may also hinder how cases are handled. And that brings me to today's story. Anna Marie was born in Springfield, massachusetts, on July 30, 1972 to a large Irish-Italian family. She attended Catholic High School and it was during her teenage years she unintentionally quote came out One evening when she was 16 years old. She didn't come home on time. Now, this was 1988 and the age before cell phones. Her worried parents hopped in the car and drove around town to try and find her. As they cruised along the streets, they noticed her car in the parking lot of a seedy motel. Being the kind of parents who wanted to make sure she was okay but also didn't want to see or confront what was behind that closed door, they asked Anna Marie's uncle, pasquale Martin, or as Anna Marie called him, uncle Pat, to check things out for them. Uncle Pat was more than happy to oblige. After informing the motel clerk, there was an underage girl in one of the rooms. He was promptly given the key. He marched to the room, pounded on the door and said quote Annie, come out right now and bring out whatever filthy bastard dragged you in there, so I can tell him. Uncle Pat says he's never going to lay a finger on you again. End quote. Anna Marie tried to tell her uncle. It wasn't what he thought. He ignored her and promised not to punch the guy. Anna Marie came out of the room reluctantly. Uncle Pat was briefly puzzled as she held open the door for a girl to walk out. Yes, anna Marie had a large Catholic family, but they all accepted her sexuality. Their acceptance, especially in the 80s, is a true testament of their love for her. But everyone loved Annemarie. She was described as impulsive, boisterous, outgoing and loud. She loved laughing, making people laugh, photography, scuba diving, notre Dame football and travel. She wore a bedazzled Michael Jackson glove when she was younger And always near the center of attention at weddings, she was known to grab the microphone and sing Mambo Italiano. Her motto was live, laugh, love. Her love for people was evident as she worked toward and became an EMT. On cold nights she would often bring blankets to the homeless and would even drive them to shelters. Given Annemarie's larger-than-life personality, it's no wonder people were surprised when she began dating fellow paramedic Cara Rintala. Cara was Annemarie's six-year senior. While much of Cara isn't known, she was described as aloof, quiet and reserved. Her emotions were guarded and difficult to figure out, while Annemarie wore her heart on her sleeve. The two met and fell in love in 2002. With an outward appearance of a beautiful relationship, the two began to live together when Annemarie moved into Cara's grand-by-home in 2005. Two years later, they adopted a newborn infant and named her Brianna. Massachusetts was the first American state to legalize same-sex marriage in 2004. The pair traveled to Provincetown, therefore, to get married. Stable jobs and a growing family don't make a perfect marriage, though. Annemarie, being impulsive along with her love for travel and passion for photography a potentially expensive hobby began to quickly run up credit card debt, and that debt was substantial, thousands of dollars. I read she had even reached a $20,000 balance on a credit card she had taken out in Cara's name. Naturally, with this amount of debt, the two began to argue about finances. If you recall, financial abuse is a form of domestic abuse. Financial abuse is when one incurs mutual debt at the opposition of the partner and or acquires debt without the other's knowledge. Cara objected to Annemarie's reckless spending. If you're reluctant to call this abuse, it is, at the very least, a source of major stress. Physical violence, however, is undoubtedly domestic abuse. Annemarie filed for a restraining order against Cara in September 2008, after Cara had hit her in the head with a spatula and her closed fist. Shortly after Annemarie presented a file, cara arrived. She attempted to tell her side of the story, but was ultimately arrested for assaults and battery. Annemarie, however, ended up dropping the charges. Less than a year, on May 12, 2009, 9-1-1 was called from the women's home. In the background, the dispatcher heard a woman screaming just leave, just leave. Both women, however, informed police when they arrived that their daughter had accidentally called. That same day, cara filed for divorce. 14 days later, on May 26, another call was made to 9-1-1. This time, it was clearly Cara who called Through mumbled sobs. The dispatcher could only make out she was threatening to take my daughter from me. I'm being threatened, i can't get a hold of my lawyers. I need help. That very day, they each attempted to file restraining orders on each other. Judge John Payne listened patiently as Cara voiced concerns that Annemarie would take away her livelihood, her home and her daughter. She said I don't know what to do. I'm afraid. I'm afraid to be in my own house. Judge Payne, however, didn't grant a restraining order to either woman. He lectured the two on how they were raising their daughter in an abusive home and he wasn't sure either one of them were stable enough to be the parents. He vowed to involve the Department of Children and Families if he ever saw them in his court again. The two women left and ultimately separated. In just the next month, anna Marie began a relationship with a female police officer named Carla. That relationship took off quickly as Anna Marie moved into Carla's home in South Hadley in August. The romance ended just as quickly. After Anna Marie had accumulated $10,000 on Carla's credit cards, anna Marie left in November and moved back in with Cara. The two had reconciled and decided to work on their relationship. And what's more romantic than a cruise in the Caribbean, even with debt now nearing $100,000, that's what the pair decided to do In February 2010,. They traveled to visit Anna Marie's aunt in Florida. Before departing on the cruise, anna noticed the couple seemed icy toward each other. She recalled at one point Anna Marie running out of the room crying after Cara said Why would someone like this want to take someone like that to the beach? Now, at some point, each of the women developed friendships with men. For the most part, i found these relationships to be described as strictly platonic. However, a few sources hinted at a possibility of there being some sexual involvement. What is indisputably known was that Cara's male friend, mike, had come over to visit on the evening of March 28, 2010,. While Anna Marie was working overnight in Springfield, cara texted Anna Marie to let her know Mike had come over with a six pack. Immediately, anna Marie became upset, texting in all caps quote It is becoming very clear how you feel about me. I don't like feeling this way. You are my wife. I hate the relationship we have. Cara responded quote. Okay, you being over the top and crazy for no reason. It's okay. He's my friend Period Not doing anything wrong. Anna Marie replied quote You are rude. I'm gonna leave. You don't give a shit. You are rude and disrespectful. Okay, yikes, right. What makes this conversation even more strange, or even hypocritical, was that Anna Marie had been messaging her male friend and colleague, mark, to make plans for him to come over while Cara would be working, and overnight just a few nights later. Despite Mark being married, he and Ann Marie had a very close relationship, so much so Mark had given Ann Marie a credit card. She immediately rented up to $7,000. Okay, so back to that night. Eventually, the argument over text had ended, as did Anna Marie's shift. She returned home after 8am. Anna Marie wasn't able to catch up on sleep right away, though, because Kara was called in by the Ludlow Fire Department, but she was able to return home by 11am. If you have ever worked overnight and have children, you can understand how difficult it can be to get adequate sleep when you get home. Kara decided she would take their 2 year old out to run errands in order to allow Anna Marie to get some sleep. The mother and daughter left the house around 3pm. Their activities from there forward are quite detailed. It was raining that day, and they first stopped to see llamas in Ludlow. After where they arrived at the Hollyoak Mall around 5pm, a surveillance camera caught Kara's pickup truck near the target entrance. A laundry basket and red bag is noted in the back of the vehicle. Kara and Brianna hit up a few stores in the mall, during which time Kara sent multiple texts to Anna Marie. No reply was received. After the mall, kara drove the two to McDonald's. They didn't order food, but Kara is seen on camera throwing some rags into a garbage can. The next stop was at a stop and shop supermarket. Still not receiving responses to her texts, kara began calling Anna Marie again, without answer. The final stop was Burger King in Chukapi to get Brianna Mac and cheese. The laundry basket and bag were still noted to be in the back of the truck. The two returned home in Grandby around 7pm. Kara found Anna Marie lying on the floor of their basement. She immediately rushed Brianna to the neighbor's house and shouted to call 911. Three minutes later first responders arrived to find a clearly deceased Anna Marie cradled in the lap of a distraught Kara. There was shiny pinkish white paint everywhere. The officers, who both knew Kara, let her upstairs and sat her at the kitchen table. They asked her what happened. Kara told them quote we'd been arguing since yesterday. We should never leave each other mad. She then proceeded to tell them she had started down the basement stairs and when she saw Annamarie's body she immediately took Brianna next door. When she got back to the basement she sat on the floor next to Annamarie, who was laying prone or on her stomach. She then rolled her body over so that Annamarie would be face up on her lap. Kara mentioned that there was already paint covering everything. At that point Kara said something strange, because nobody had suggested this could be anything other than an accident. What she said was quote I understand I'm the number one suspect. Kara was eventually brought in by police for questioning. She was interviewed for two and a half hours at the Granby station. She recalled the events of her afternoon with Brianna, but almost immediately she began complaining about her newly deceased wife. She mentioned Annamarie was physically abusive, recklessly spent money, was loud, she had a temper, she was lazy, she was manipulative. Kara would interrupt herself and admit she felt terrible, saying negative things about her and she felt as if she was betraying Annamarie. But then she returned to describing how Annamarie would say hurtful and mean things. The autopsy later concluded the cause of death was homicide by strangulation. Extensive bruising was also noted throughout Annamarie's body. The rags from the McDonald's trash can were collected and tested. As there was a faint blood stain noted, it was determined Annamarie was a potential contributor. Kara was later indicted on October 19, 2011, which is one and a half years later. Kara's first two trials, in 2013 and 2014, were deemed mistrials due to a hung jury both times. Her third trial, in 2016, resulted in a conviction. She was sentenced to life without the possibility of parole. In 2021, her conviction was overturned. The ruling was following further investigation of the prosecution's witness regarding timing of the paint drying. It was felt the expert didn't perform an actual study in order to determine what time the paint was spilled. $50,000 cash bail was posted in November 2021. Kara is now living with her parents and daughter, but she is to sit for her fourth trial in September of this year. Now I left a lot of speculation and investigation details out because this is a domestic violence podcast and the purpose of this episode is not to determine who killed Annamarie. This is a story of a lesbian couple in which both partners displayed abusive behavior. Earlier, i alluded to the idea that because Annamarie and Kara were lesbians, their situation may have been handled differently or with prejudice. Now, of course, this is pure speculation on my part, but I do feel that may have been the case, and let me tell you why. I think that Each woman had unsuccessfully attempted to file a restraining order on the other, so this would be more of a gender-based issue versus a same-sex couple. Perhaps the authorities involved failed to recognize women as potential threats to another. Let's also think about what would have happened if Kara were a man. Would there have been one, let alone two, hungjuries? Would there be persistence in the attempt to seal a conviction going to four trials? We know the district attorney at the time of the murder was a female and a big supporter of same-sex marriage. Did she deliberately hold off on pursuing the case? Kara wasn't arrested until a new male district attorney was elected. There is a lot of controversy and speculation surrounding this case, but ultimately it's a sad story of escalating domestic abuse, really from both partners. It may have even escalated into murder, but we won't know that results until later this year at the earliest. Before I close, i want to say thank you to Ashley for adding the song Feel Like This by Ingrid Andrus to our 1-in-3 playlist on Spotify. As always, links to sources used for this episode can be found in the show notes. I will be back next week with another story for you. Until then, have each other's back, stay strong and always remember you are not alone 1-in-3 is a.5 Pinoy production music written and performed by Tim Crow.