WEBVTT
00:00:23.940 --> 00:00:26.047
Hi Warriors, welcome to 1-3.
00:00:26.047 --> 00:00:27.451
I'm your host, ingrid.
00:00:27.451 --> 00:00:31.009
Today I'm bringing you a story you may have heard before.
00:00:31.009 --> 00:00:32.743
It's worth hearing again.
00:00:32.743 --> 00:00:34.908
If you have, brace yourself.
00:00:34.908 --> 00:00:35.832
if you haven't.
00:00:35.832 --> 00:00:46.790
It's the story of how a man survived the brutal abuse he suffered from his young, petite girlfriend, abuse that left him just ten days from death.
00:00:46.790 --> 00:00:49.522
This is the story of Alex's skill.
00:01:03.740 --> 00:01:08.210
Alex and his twin brother, luke, were born on August 17, 1995.
00:01:08.210 --> 00:01:10.524
They grew up in Bedford, england.
00:01:10.524 --> 00:01:14.632
Alex was preoccupied with football and had not dated before.
00:01:14.632 --> 00:01:21.233
He didn't really pay attention to the opposite sex until he met Jordan in 2012.
00:01:21.233 --> 00:01:24.950
I bet you can guess what she was like when they first started hanging out.
00:01:24.950 --> 00:01:31.292
She was attentive, caring, loving and completely interested in everything about Alex.
00:01:31.292 --> 00:01:33.501
She charmed his friends.
00:01:33.501 --> 00:01:39.893
They described her as cool, friendly, quiet, timid and just lovely and delightful.
00:01:39.893 --> 00:01:44.528
But ever so slowly that changed.
00:01:44.528 --> 00:01:46.692
It was subtle at first.
00:01:46.692 --> 00:01:49.766
She mentioned she didn't like when Alex would wear gray.
00:01:49.766 --> 00:01:52.311
She favored his hair a certain way.
00:01:52.311 --> 00:01:54.442
She didn't like his shoes.
00:01:54.442 --> 00:02:02.930
These things didn't really seem like much at that point and Alex still wanted to impress Jordan, so he complied with her preferences.
00:02:04.340 --> 00:02:07.385
In April 2013, jordan turned 18.
00:02:07.385 --> 00:02:11.614
Alex's parents took them to see the Lion King performance in London.
00:02:11.614 --> 00:02:16.950
Alex got up to use restroom and when he returned to their seats, jordan was gone.
00:02:16.950 --> 00:02:22.610
Alex and his family searched frantically for her for nearly an hour.
00:02:22.610 --> 00:02:27.870
He finally found her sitting in the lobby of the hotel laughing.
00:02:27.870 --> 00:02:35.513
Naturally this concerned his family, but Alex brushed it off because she never acted like that when it was just the two of them.
00:02:36.280 --> 00:02:40.971
Later that summer, in August, alex and Luke celebrated their 18th birthday.
00:02:40.971 --> 00:02:46.830
Their mother wanted to throw a big party for them with over 100 guests in attendance.
00:02:46.830 --> 00:02:52.370
Well, into the party, jordan suddenly began shouting at a family friend.
00:02:52.370 --> 00:02:57.509
That family friend was an attractive 15 year old girl.
00:02:57.509 --> 00:03:03.891
The party abruptly stopped and everyone just stared at the commotion.
00:03:03.891 --> 00:03:10.532
Like I said, alex had never been in a previous relationship, so he thought this must just be normal behavior.
00:03:10.532 --> 00:03:15.729
When his friends told him otherwise and that he should leave, alex couldn't.
00:03:15.729 --> 00:03:19.448
He loved Jordan and wanted to look after her.
00:03:19.448 --> 00:03:23.819
Not long after that, however, alex did end it.
00:03:24.531 --> 00:03:29.021
Jordan's behavior had continued and she eventually broke the SIM card to his phone.
00:03:29.021 --> 00:03:32.860
That move made something click for Alex.
00:03:32.860 --> 00:03:36.659
He realized everyone had been right about Jordan.
00:03:36.659 --> 00:03:43.923
It was about two days following the breakup when Jordan arrived at Alex's parents' house to tell them she was pregnant.
00:03:43.923 --> 00:03:48.942
Now you may be thinking nice trick, right.
00:03:48.942 --> 00:03:55.270
Alex's mom thought the same thing and had Jordan take a pregnancy test right there in the house.
00:03:55.270 --> 00:03:58.270
It turns out she wasn't lying.
00:03:58.270 --> 00:04:03.021
Of course, alex's first thoughts were worry and concern.
00:04:03.021 --> 00:04:10.123
You know the typical young parent looking at their future, wondering how am I going to manage this?
00:04:10.123 --> 00:04:13.270
Despite his anxieties, alex stepped up.
00:04:13.270 --> 00:04:23.269
He told Jordan he still could not be in a relationship with her, but he would absolutely stand by her side and support her throughout the pregnancy and the life of the child.
00:04:23.269 --> 00:04:28.741
Jordan left and Alex didn't see or hear from her for over a year.
00:04:28.741 --> 00:04:32.250
Their son was born in May 2014.
00:04:33.391 --> 00:04:39.124
Alex's mom received a text from Jordan in August asking if she wanted to meet her grandson.
00:04:39.124 --> 00:04:44.141
The family immediately fell in love with a sweet baby boy.
00:04:44.141 --> 00:04:46.269
Jordan seemed different too.
00:04:46.269 --> 00:04:50.680
She was more attentive, caring and a lovely mother.
00:04:50.680 --> 00:04:59.961
Alex, on the other hand, was still quite bitter, so the family arranged for him to meet his son without Jordan present.
00:04:59.961 --> 00:05:05.269
He brought his grandfather, whom he loved dearly, along for the introduction.
00:05:05.269 --> 00:05:10.269
From that point forward, jordan would bring the baby by every weekend.
00:05:11.576 --> 00:05:14.230
Everyone was delighted to see the changes in Jordan.
00:05:14.230 --> 00:05:23.845
Soon she was living with the skills and the relationship between she and Alex rekindles by January 2015.
00:05:23.845 --> 00:05:31.740
I wish I could say that's the end and they all lived happily ever after, but we know that didn't happen.
00:05:31.740 --> 00:05:36.882
Instead, jordan's true colors began to resurface.
00:05:36.882 --> 00:05:44.523
As Alex and Jordan were driving through the neighborhood, the family friend Jordan had previously yelled at was walking along.
00:05:44.523 --> 00:05:49.240
Jordan immediately began screaming assaults at her again.
00:05:49.240 --> 00:05:56.101
Alex's mom confronted her about this and said they were not going to tolerate that behavior again.
00:05:56.101 --> 00:06:00.160
Jordan immediately packed up their things.
00:06:00.160 --> 00:06:06.250
She told Alex's choice was to stay with his family or leave with her.
00:06:06.250 --> 00:06:10.922
Jordan had their son, which made Alex's decision clear.
00:06:10.922 --> 00:06:17.250
He moved out of the house and didn't see his family for the next two years.
00:06:18.033 --> 00:06:21.269
The three moved in with Jordan's family for about 18 months.
00:06:21.269 --> 00:06:25.922
This is where she methodically began to isolate Alex.
00:06:25.922 --> 00:06:29.860
She got him a new phone with a new phone number.
00:06:29.860 --> 00:06:33.779
Obviously, she didn't transfer his contacts over.
00:06:33.779 --> 00:06:39.701
She deleted his Facebook account and created a joint account she would be able to monitor.
00:06:39.701 --> 00:06:45.622
She even got rid of the PlayStation because that was just another way he could communicate with friends.
00:06:45.622 --> 00:06:53.761
Alex's mother was so desperate for contact She sent money through mobile banking with a note saying I love you.
00:06:53.761 --> 00:07:00.819
She received a response I hate you Never contact me again.
00:07:00.819 --> 00:07:08.079
Hey, remember Alex's grandfather I mentioned earlier, the one Alex had a very close relationship with.
00:07:08.079 --> 00:07:12.721
Alex actually considered him the most important person in his life.
00:07:12.721 --> 00:07:21.624
Well, jordan came home one day and said Alex's mother sent a message to her mother to let them know his grandfather had passed away.
00:07:21.624 --> 00:07:23.956
Alex was distraught.
00:07:23.956 --> 00:07:28.221
He was angry with himself for not spending more time with his grandfather.
00:07:28.221 --> 00:07:30.396
He couldn't let go of the knowledge.
00:07:30.396 --> 00:07:31.538
He never said goodbye.
00:07:31.538 --> 00:07:36.269
Hours later, jordan asked Alex why he was so upset.
00:07:36.269 --> 00:07:43.338
When he reminded her of the loss of his grandfather, she matter of factly said he's not dead.
00:07:43.338 --> 00:07:49.572
She had fabricated the entire story and let him mourn for hours.
00:07:50.500 --> 00:07:55.630
In July 2016, the little family moved to Stewartby in Bedfordshire.
00:07:55.630 --> 00:07:59.267
Alex describes the first month as wonderful.
00:07:59.267 --> 00:08:01.083
They had a nice house.
00:08:01.083 --> 00:08:03.608
They were getting along well without any fighting.
00:08:03.608 --> 00:08:07.487
At this time they talked about having a baby.
00:08:07.487 --> 00:08:13.939
Now you may be judging, or at least wondering, why Alex would think that was a good idea.
00:08:13.939 --> 00:08:23.519
But remember, jordan had good streaks, long periods of time where even Alex's friends and family believed she had changed.
00:08:23.519 --> 00:08:29.120
Of course, alex wanted to believe in the woman he loved and already shared one child with.
00:08:29.120 --> 00:08:33.509
And let's not forget to mention the complete mind fuck.
00:08:33.509 --> 00:08:34.492
She was pulling on him.
00:08:34.492 --> 00:08:41.165
The control was oh so subtle Enough so that reality became fuzzy.
00:08:41.165 --> 00:08:48.807
So we won't judge the good person who was attempting to hold on to the good he saw and the other person.
00:08:48.807 --> 00:08:53.370
And that other person got pregnant right away.
00:08:53.370 --> 00:08:55.464
They were thrilled.
00:08:56.621 --> 00:08:58.288
Then things began to change again.
00:08:58.288 --> 00:09:04.052
Jordan didn't like Alex's job and said it wasn't good enough, so she had him quit.
00:09:04.052 --> 00:09:07.389
At the time she was attending university.
00:09:07.389 --> 00:09:14.452
Since he no longer had a job to go to, she insisted he drive along with her and wait in the car while she was in class.
00:09:14.452 --> 00:09:20.130
She needed to keep tabs on him because she was concerned he would try to go see his parents.
00:09:20.130 --> 00:09:28.827
In the meantime, she continued to cut off all of his friends and family by sending them hateful messages through Facebook.
00:09:30.441 --> 00:09:38.114
Now that Alex was utterly isolated socially and financially, things took an even darker turn.
00:09:38.114 --> 00:09:44.392
Jordan first became physically abusive by using a brush to hit him whenever she was upset.
00:09:44.392 --> 00:09:48.948
One time the brush actually broke off part of his tooth.
00:09:48.948 --> 00:09:54.711
Jordan would continuously question Alex on his past behaviors.
00:09:54.711 --> 00:09:59.330
For instance, she would claim she knew about things he had done with other girls.
00:09:59.330 --> 00:10:03.690
These accusations were untrue and Alex told her as much.
00:10:03.690 --> 00:10:10.471
Instead of believing him, she decided she needed to implement a new plan to force out the truth.
00:10:10.471 --> 00:10:17.672
While he was sleeping, she began using a glass bottle to hit him over the head.
00:10:17.672 --> 00:10:23.331
When he would awake, obviously dazed, she would ask what he was thinking about.
00:10:23.331 --> 00:10:31.013
Alex later noted Jordan would hit him in the head at least three times a day for over three months.
00:10:31.013 --> 00:10:35.630
He estimated the total was around 1,000 times.
00:10:35.630 --> 00:10:40.311
Jordan began to control what and when Alex could eat.
00:10:40.311 --> 00:10:44.289
She didn't allow him to sleep on the bed, so he slept on the floor.
00:10:44.289 --> 00:10:52.167
Alex recalled he got used to the pain of being hit in the head with a bottle, so Jordan stepped it up to a hammer.
00:10:52.167 --> 00:10:56.749
Then She would grab serrated kitchen knives and slash at him.
00:10:56.749 --> 00:11:04.913
It appears she had convinced herself that slashing was okay because she wasn't directly stabbing him.
00:11:06.140 --> 00:11:12.812
At 2.30 in the morning one day in February 2017, alex called his dad asking for help.
00:11:12.812 --> 00:11:16.870
When he arrived to the house, the lights went out.
00:11:16.870 --> 00:11:22.030
His father pounded on the door and Alex yelled for him to go away.
00:11:22.030 --> 00:11:25.828
The police recalled and went inside to investigate.
00:11:25.828 --> 00:11:28.784
When they came out, they informed his father.
00:11:28.784 --> 00:11:34.725
Alex and Jordan had a fight, but were okay now They had separated the two.
00:11:34.725 --> 00:11:39.447
They did know Alex was walking with a limp.
00:11:39.447 --> 00:11:48.222
The brush, the bottle, the hammer, the knives even a screwdriver wasn't the worst of it.
00:11:48.222 --> 00:11:52.938
Jordan would boil water and pour it onto Alex.
00:11:52.938 --> 00:12:03.977
He would beg to get into an ice bath afterward, which she would allow briefly, just as he would feel relief, she would make him get out.
00:12:03.977 --> 00:12:08.779
If he didn't, she would pour boiling water on him again.
00:12:08.779 --> 00:12:12.498
Her daughter was born in May 2017.
00:12:12.498 --> 00:12:18.131
Alex hoped this would bring change to Jordan And it did For three days.
00:12:19.529 --> 00:12:21.195
Then the abuse started again.
00:12:21.195 --> 00:12:27.660
On June 3rd 2017, neighbors called the police because they heard the couple fighting.
00:12:27.660 --> 00:12:33.393
They mentioned hearing Alex say It's not my fault, get off me, stop hurting me.
00:12:33.393 --> 00:12:38.259
Jordan answered the door when the police arrived and said there had been an accident.
00:12:38.259 --> 00:12:45.341
They found a serrated kitchen knife on the floor and Alex's bloody arm wrapped in a towel.
00:12:45.341 --> 00:12:52.452
He was taken to the hospital, but before he could go into surgery, jordan walked him out of the hospital.
00:12:52.452 --> 00:12:55.557
The staff begged them to stay.
00:12:55.557 --> 00:13:01.081
The medical personnel even asked Alex directly if it was safe for him to go home.
00:13:01.081 --> 00:13:02.753
He said yes.
00:13:02.753 --> 00:13:07.840
He explained all the injuries he had done to himself.
00:13:09.389 --> 00:13:12.820
On June 10th 2017, neighbors called the police again.
00:13:12.820 --> 00:13:16.678
The same police officer from the previous night answered the call.
00:13:16.678 --> 00:13:20.317
He smiled and was gentle when he spoke with Alex.
00:13:20.317 --> 00:13:24.818
He noted how Alex would look at the ground when he answered questions.
00:13:24.818 --> 00:13:30.200
Alex still insisted the injuries were accidental or self-inflicted.
00:13:30.200 --> 00:13:35.600
It was very clear to this observant officer that Alex was mistreated.
00:13:35.600 --> 00:13:44.163
His behavior, his bruised, cut and scarred body, his gaunt features all shrieked abuse.
00:13:44.163 --> 00:13:47.597
The officer brought Alex to his patrol car.
00:13:47.597 --> 00:13:52.961
He explained they were not going to go anywhere until Alex told the truth.
00:13:52.961 --> 00:13:58.779
He emphasized the need to ensure safety for himself and his children.
00:14:00.490 --> 00:14:03.259
Alex still refused to implicate Jordan.
00:14:03.259 --> 00:14:10.504
This is another part of the story where you may be screaming, pleading for Alex to say what happened.
00:14:10.504 --> 00:14:14.019
After all, he is with a police officer.
00:14:14.019 --> 00:14:16.255
He must be safe, right.
00:14:17.549 --> 00:14:21.178
But let's put ourselves in Alex's situation one more time.
00:14:21.178 --> 00:14:31.937
He had been manipulated from the beginning to fall in love with a woman who didn't truly exist The sweet, attentive, caring Jordan.
00:14:31.937 --> 00:14:39.134
When she would become angry with him, he learned to believe it was because of something he did or didn't do.
00:14:39.134 --> 00:14:56.967
Initially he may have been chasing the good memories, trying to alter his actions to have life just returned to happier times Then, as the abuse progressed from emotional, psychological and financial to physical.
00:14:56.967 --> 00:15:02.620
He may have again looked at himself to figure out what he did to cause the attack.
00:15:02.620 --> 00:15:11.123
As he was deprived of food, sleep and independence, his reality most likely became even more clouded.
00:15:11.123 --> 00:15:15.529
How can one think clearly at that point Then?
00:15:15.529 --> 00:15:30.437
I imagine he was in survival mode, just trying to have minimal interaction to avoid abuse, keep himself and his children safe and alive, and he had legitimate fear for the latter.
00:15:30.437 --> 00:15:39.019
Jordan didn't just threaten him with more abuse, she vowed to run him over and kill him if he ever left her.
00:15:39.019 --> 00:15:51.356
Every move he made, every lie he told to cover the abuse was to avoid any repercussion, not to mention who could he turn to.
00:15:53.129 --> 00:15:55.297
Jordan had successfully isolated him.
00:15:55.297 --> 00:15:58.297
He couldn't speak with friends or family anymore.
00:15:58.297 --> 00:16:00.895
He didn't know any of the neighbors.
00:16:00.895 --> 00:16:04.417
And let's be honest, he's a man.
00:16:04.417 --> 00:16:08.818
She's a petite, well-spoken, educated woman.
00:16:08.818 --> 00:16:12.826
If he went to the police, would they even believe him?
00:16:12.826 --> 00:16:15.697
Would they somehow blame him?
00:16:15.697 --> 00:16:21.900
Yes, he suffered abuse if he stayed, but at least he knew what to expect.
00:16:21.900 --> 00:16:31.495
If he attempted to leave or expose the truth and failed, there's no telling what would have happened to him or his children.
00:16:31.495 --> 00:16:39.474
So when he had an opportunity to divulge his circumstances, we can't blame him for not jumping at the chance.
00:16:41.250 --> 00:16:44.458
Unfortunately for Alex, that officer was not backing down.
00:16:44.458 --> 00:16:54.092
He turned off his body cam and told Alex it was now safe to tell him anything And this time Warriors.
00:16:54.092 --> 00:16:57.039
Alex took advantage of the opportunity.
00:16:57.039 --> 00:17:00.518
He hastily admitted what had been happening to him.
00:17:00.518 --> 00:17:05.519
Jordan was immediately arrested and taken in for questioning.
00:17:05.519 --> 00:17:08.835
Alex was taken to the hospital.
00:17:08.835 --> 00:17:15.780
Over the course of the abuse, he had lost approximately 4 stone, which is 56 pounds.
00:17:15.780 --> 00:17:21.279
When he was rescued, he weighed 7 stone, which is 98 pounds.
00:17:21.279 --> 00:17:26.860
The medical team that examined Alex determined he was 10 days from death.
00:17:26.860 --> 00:17:32.852
He quickly returned home to the open arms of his friends and family Within 5 days.
00:17:32.852 --> 00:17:36.681
His children were returned to him and have been with him ever since.
00:17:37.549 --> 00:17:42.922
On September 28, 2017, jordan Worth was charged with 17 counts.
00:17:42.922 --> 00:17:46.156
She pleaded guilty to 3 of those charges.
00:17:46.156 --> 00:17:56.198
On April 13, 2018, jordan became the first female in the United Kingdom to be convicted of controlling or coercive behavior.
00:17:56.198 --> 00:17:59.017
She was sentenced to 6 months.
00:17:59.017 --> 00:18:08.836
She also received 2 7-year sentences to be served concurrently for wounding with intent and causing grievous bodily harm.
00:18:08.836 --> 00:18:17.654
It's said the day of sentencing she had no remorse and she quote didn't blame Alex for anything she did to him.
00:18:17.654 --> 00:18:19.451
Reportedly.
00:18:19.451 --> 00:18:25.612
She was released in 2022, but has an indefinite restraining order for no contact with Alex.
00:18:25.612 --> 00:18:35.958
Alex Skel has continued to care for his two children and has incorporated his passion for football back into his life once again.
00:18:37.069 --> 00:18:42.080
He advocates for domestic violence victims and provides education in that arena.
00:18:42.080 --> 00:18:48.619
He is proactive with Mankind Initiative, a domestic violence program assisting men.
00:18:48.619 --> 00:18:55.622
Gender can often play a role in getting adequate and timely help to a domestic violence victim.
00:18:55.622 --> 00:18:59.622
That's just one aspect of domestic violence.
00:18:59.622 --> 00:19:03.193
We need to change and we certainly have our work cut out for us.
00:19:03.193 --> 00:19:12.242
Alex's friend, jordan Parker, said this quote a victim is a victim and an abuser is an abuser.
00:19:12.242 --> 00:19:15.857
There can't be any gender tied to it, because it doesn't matter.
00:19:15.857 --> 00:19:24.617
A victim still hurts whether they are a male or a female, and an abuser is still just as nasty whether they are a male or a female.
00:19:24.617 --> 00:19:27.477
It's as simple as that end quote.
00:19:29.049 --> 00:19:37.637
As always, links to sources used for this episode can be found in the show notes, and I will be back next week with another story for you.
00:19:37.637 --> 00:19:46.342
Until then, have each other's back, stay strong and always remember you are not alone.
00:19:46.342 --> 00:19:54.792
Find more information, register as a guest or leave a review by going to the website 1and3podcastcom.
00:19:54.792 --> 00:19:59.041
That's the number 1, i-n the number 3, podcastcom.
00:19:59.041 --> 00:20:04.401
Follow 1and3 on Instagram, facebook and Twitter at 1and3podcast.
00:20:04.401 --> 00:20:08.660
To help me out, please remember to rate, review and subscribe.
00:20:08.660 --> 00:20:10.790
1and3 is a.5.
00:20:10.790 --> 00:20:14.675
Pinoy production music written and performed by Tim Crow.