49-Domestic Violence During the Holidays: Protecting Yourself and Others

The holiday season is often a time of joy and togetherness, but for many, it also brings heightened stress and danger, especially for those affected by domestic violence. Join me, Ingrid, as I share crucial insights into why instances of domestic violence surge during this festive period. From financial strain to the emotional toll of past traumas resurfacing, I explore the various pressures that escalate tensions and the unique challenges survivors face in seeking help during holiday closures. I offer practical advice for victims on how to protect themselves and their loved ones, from escape planning to setting boundaries, and maintaining mental well-being amidst the chaos.

This episode isn't just for those who are directly affected; it's a call to action for bystanders, family members, and colleagues. Learn how to spot the signs of abuse and establish safe communication methods to support those in need. Discover ways to provide moments of respite and foster an environment where victims feel supported and understood. Remember, abuse is never okay, and help is always available. Tune in for a heartfelt discussion aimed at ensuring a safer holiday season for everyone, and be sure to check the show notes for additional resources and information.

Sources:
https://www.cawc.org/news/why-domestic-violence-increases-during-the-holiday-season/
https://www.dvact.org/post/why-does-domestic-violence-increase-over-christmas
https://womenagainstcrime.com/domestic-violence-and-the-holidays-what-you-should-know/
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/safety-planning-for-the-holiday
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/safety-planning-with-children/

1 in 3 is intended for mature audiences. Episodes contain explicit content and may be triggering to some.

Support the show

If you are in the United States and need help right now, call the national domestic violence hotline at 800-799-7233 or text the word “start” to 88788.

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Cover art by Laura Swift Dahlke
Music by Tim Crowe

Transcript

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Hi Warriors, welcome to 1 in 3, I'm your host, ingrid.

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I know I said I was going to have a guest on this week, but I have some important information I want to get out before we get too much further into the holiday season.

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The reason is because this episode is about just that the holiday season.

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While full of love and cheer for many, it's often full of dread and fear for others.

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The already staggering statistics surrounding domestic violence surge this time of year.

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Some reasons for the rise in violence include financial strain, stress from work or family obligations and an increase in alcohol and drug consumption.

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Remember the abuse includes violent acts against children as well.

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It may also be difficult for victims to secure assistance with domestic violence agencies due to potentially reduced hours surrounding the holidays.

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We need to recognize those survivors who have successfully left their abusive homes may find the holiday season difficult to navigate too.

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Again, financial strain plays a large role in this, but we have to consider the emotional toll of feeling alone as well.

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This time of year may also be triggering, as past memories of violence can resurface.

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So what are we supposed to do with this information?

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Well, listen up, because I'm going to give you some suggestions For the victim or survivor.

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Have an escape plan.

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Get a bag packed and a safe location secured in advance.

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Make plans for your children and pets, if that applies to your situation.

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Check in with someone routinely, create a code word with that person and make sure you are both clear on what that code means.

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For example, come over or call the police, etc.

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You can also consider creating a code word regarding your mental health.

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Like I mentioned before, work and family obligations are at a high this time of year.

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You may find yourself in a crowd that feels uncomfortable or triggering.

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Use the code word for your support person to talk you through or physically get you out of that situation.

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Come up with ways to get out of the house, like present shopping, getting groceries, taking pets to the vet or going to doctor's appointments.

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You may just need a break from being in the same environment as your abuser, or you could take this opportunity to run If traveling.

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Pay attention to opportunities for escape if necessary.

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Don't be afraid to set boundaries with anyone and everyone and finally, keep your mental and emotional well-being in check.

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Indulge in whatever self-care practices you need to keep yourself grounded.

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If children are involved, make sure they are aware of safe places within the home to retreat, if necessary.

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Educate them on not getting involved or stepping in during violent attacks.

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Create code words with them as to when to go to their safe place or when to run away, etc.

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Teach them who the safe adults are that they can trust, and consider having them stay with trusted adults if anticipating violent behavior For the bystander, family member or colleague recognize signs of potential abuse.

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This could include bruises or wearing long-sleeved clothing or turtlenecks, regardless of weather, in order to cover injuries, using heavy makeup to disguise injuries.

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There could be changes in personality, like becoming withdrawn, becoming more emotional, anxious, depressed or avoiding social interactions.

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Support the victim or survivor.

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Do not abandon them, even if you are frustrated with them.

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Let them know you are there for them, despite not leaving their abuser, and you are willing to help when they do decide to escape.

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Discuss safe ways to communicate with a victim or survivor.

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They may not be able to take phone calls or text messages.

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Create code words, as I mentioned earlier.

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Try to find ways to get the victim or survivor out of the house, even if it's only for a short time.

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Invite them to go shopping or to lunch or schedule a play date.

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Understand the victim or survivor, is doing what they can to survive.

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They are struggling.

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They feel overwhelmed, confused, possibly embarrassed and, most likely, alone.

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And this information is for everyone.

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Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline for questions or assistance at any time by calling 1-800-799-SAFE, that's 1-800-799-7233.

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You can also text the word START to 88788 or go to their website, which is thehotlineorg.

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Remember, it doesn't matter what time of year it is or what the excuse is Abuse is never okay.

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Thank you for listening.

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Sources for today are found in the show notes.

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I wish all of you a happy and, more importantly, safe holiday season.

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I'm going to be taking the next two weeks off, but I will be back next year with another episode for you.

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This time I will have my guest.

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Until then, stay strong and wherever you are in your journey, always remember you're not alone.

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Find more information, register as a guest or leave a review by going to the website 1in3podcastcom.

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That's the number 1-I website.

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One and three podcastcom that's the number one.

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I N the number three podcastcom.

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One in three is a 0.5 Pinoy production music written and performed by Tim Crow.

49-Domestic Violence During the Holidays: Protecting Yourself and Others

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