24-Domestic Violence PERPETRATOR: Michelle Knotek Part 3; Kathy

Hi Warriors, welcome to 1-3,. I'm your host, ingrid. Before I get into today's episode, I want to bring attention to the fact that it is October. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. This is an occasion for advocates to join forces to support victims of domestic violence worldwide. As victims and survivors of domestic violence, this is also an opportunity to make our voices be heard. Purple is the chosen color to represent domestic violence and each year, the third Thursday of October is designated as Purple Thursday. Make sure to show your support, solidarity and unity by wearing purple any day in October, but especially Purple Thursday, which is tomorrow, october 19th. Check out your local organizations thehotlineorg, ncadvorg or mankindorguk for additional ways to get involved or show your support. In the last two episodes of Shelly No-Tak, I discussed her background, from her childhood through her marriages. Now that we have gotten to know her somewhat, it is time we dive into the horrors she inflicted upon anyone who lived with her. Rather than follow events in chronological order, I have decided to group the rest of Shelly's story into her victims. Let's start with the adults. Before you get into this episode, I want to warn you again this is a graphic and gruesome story of a sadist, although I am leaving some details out. It is nothing short of disturbing. In 1988, 34-year-old Shelly was pregnant with her third daughter. Dave and Shelly had moved their family into a new home they were renting and they referred to as the Lauderbach House. Midway through the year they had taken in Shelly's 13-year-old nephew, shane Watson. Nikki was 14 years old and Sammy 10 years old at that time. I will get into more details about the children in a later episode. That Christmas Shelly announced her hairdresser and best friend, kathy Loreno, would be moving in. This came as a surprise to Dave. The No-Tex immediately arranged their home to welcome their new guest. A loft type area between Sammy's and Nikki's rooms would become Kathy's room. Her bed and scarce belongings were moved in. The walls were decorated to make her feel at home. Let's learn a little bit more about Kathy. She was 30 years old when she moved in with the No-Tex. Kathy had two brothers and one sister. They were raised by their mother, kaye Thomas. Kaye was believed to always be unhappy. She was beautiful, had multiple husbands and moved her children around frequently. The last move in the summer of 1977 was from California to Washington. Kathy was about 18 years old at the time. This move had the children wondering what their mother was thinking. They had been happily established in Simi Valley, california. They didn't have a lot of money and didn't have a job. Despite that, she was able to buy a house for $25,000. Kathy transferred her cosmetology credits to a local school. Kathy finished school and found a job at a local salon, typical of a small town. She found it difficult to secure a steady clientele. Most stylists were friends with her clients. Kathy's kind and the most passive personality didn't help. She was still able to make meager earnings, which went into a joint checking account she shared with her mother. Without it, bills would not have been paid. Kathy received a settlement check following the death of her father. Instead of purchasing a car like she wanted, she found a home next to her mother's. She had found independence but wasn't living the dream she once had for herself. Eventually she lost her job because she could not boost her sales volume enough. Depression set in as she also ended up losing her home. Kathy had no other choice but to move back in with her mom, apparently forgetting how her daughter's checks once paid for her bills, kathy's mother charged her rent. With no job and no money to pay her mom rent, kathy welcomed any solution. You can imagine her excitement when Shelly asked her to move in with them. Shelly didn't present it as charity to her friend. Instead she requested her help. Baby Tori was born in June 1988, which brought the total number of children in the home to four two teenagers, a 10-year-old and a newborn entirely too much for Shelly to take on herself. Kathy was happy to oblige. Once she settled into her new home, kathy witnessed how hard Shelly struggled. She admired her friend and even seemed to idolize her. She would emphasize to the children how hard their mother worked and wondered why they didn't do more to help around the house. Of course, kathy's opinion of the children was entirely based on what Shelly described. They were defiant, irresponsible and unruly. Kathy gladly helped Shelly who, between cancer treatments and her daily responsibilities, was over her head. She cleaned the house, she cooked and she tended to the children. The girls all noted Kathy was never mean to them. She was upbeat and would tell them stories of her hair-dressing days that would have all of them laughing. Kathy had a larger body frame and a larger-than-life personality. As Shelly's demands and impatience grew, however, kathy's demeanor softened, almost faded away. Shelly would yell at Kathy a lot when she was especially displeased. Shelly would hit Kathy. As per the norm, anything within close proximity would be used Books, cords, utensils. Shelly hurt Kathy in more ways than one. Kathy would cry and even vowed to leave. Before that could happen, though, shelly would apologize and admit her guilt but, blaming Kathy's ignorance for her outbursts, the two would then hug. Shelly also fed Kathy pills. The older children later found the stash of pills, which consisted of antidepressants, anxiolytics and benzodiazepines. The mind games began and intensified. Shelly accused Kathy of sleepwalking. Once was to steal a pie out of the refrigerator and eat it. The remainder of the pie was found under Kathy's bed. Another incident involved Kathy's sleepwalking naked into Teenager Shane's bedroom. Shelly was even able to get Shane to corroborate the story. You see, while the children understood what was happening to Kathy was wrong and twisted, they were relieved. Some of the abuse was taken off them. Shelly also had a knack for convincing others to partake in her games. If the participant wasn't willing, they would become the victim. If someone came to the defense of Shelly's target, they too would become the victim. Shelly's physical violence also intensified. She and Kathy got into an argument outside on a nearby hill. Shelly grabbed Kathy's hair, pushed her down the hill and kicked her in the stomach. Another time, shelly kicked her down the stairs while calling her stupid and clumsy. Slowly, just as Kathy began to fade away, so did her belongings. Her bedroom walls that were once decorated were now bare. Her clothes were gone. Kathy was left with just one bra, one pair of underwear and one mu-mu. Then Shelly took things to an absolutely humiliating level. She took away the mu-mu. Kathy was forced to tend to the house in just her undergarments. Eventually those disappeared too. Still, that wasn't harsh enough for Shelley. She would lock Kathy in the closet for various offenses. Sometimes she would sit outside the door and talk with Kathy. She would comfort her, saying she would be okay, that she loved her, that she would never let anyone hurt her. Kathy was placed in the closet for other reasons too. If the family had guests, or under the guise of hiding Kathy from the abusive children. While the children would pretend to not notice the naked woman with a crushed spirit wandering through their home, shelley would continue to enlist them in enforcing consequences. Shane was most often the chosen child to inflict punishments. Shelley would have him punch or kick Kathy. He did as he was asked, but would hold back somewhat. He knew Shelley would turn on him if he didn't do what he was told. Shelley would manipulate the situation too, as Kathy would run from Shane, shelley would step in and protect Kathy, becoming her hero. As time wore on, kathy's health deteriorated. Shelley controlled where and when, or if she slept or ate. Kathy had to request permission to use the restroom or shower. She lost weight. Her body was covered in bruises, scratches and open sores. Her teeth would eventually fall out, as did her hair. Her graying skin began to sag. At some point it became apparent that Kathy realized her situation was hopeless. She also understood that if she allowed the children to help her in any way, they would be abused themselves. Kathy just existed in complacency. She would be taken on family camping vacations, but she was placed in the trunk for the car ride when she arrived to the site. She would merely act as a servant. She would follow commands, then sit off by herself, sleeping in the trunk or under the car. Shelley continued to find ways to torture and humiliate Kathy. She chopped the hairdresser's prized curly hair into a hideous mess of unevenness. Once baby Tori needed her own room, kathy was moved to the unfinished, smelly basement In the evening. One winter, after Kathy had done something to upset Shelley, she was taken outside to the hill behind the house. As Shelley screamed at Kathy, dave pushed her naked body down the hill, crying and apologizing. Kathy would continuously crawl back up the hill, just to be pushed down again. Eventually, a trail of blood was left down the hill as Kathy's backside became raw from the sharp snow. In March of 1991, kathy's family attempted to locate her as her mother was undergoing major surgery. Her siblings attempted to call the no-tech home, without an answer. When Shelley happened to answer the phone one time, she informed Kathy's family that she had left. She had gone to live a wonderful life with her boyfriend Rocky. Rocky was a semi-truck driver and brought Kathy along for his travels. Not long after that call, kelly received a photo and a letter from Kathy. The photo was blurry, but Kathy was standing in front of a semi-truck. The letter, which was clearly written in Kathy's handwriting, detailed how happy she was with Rocky. When considering the stifling life Kathy had with her mother, kelly understood why Kathy would leave. She believed the story. In 1992, the family moved to a new house, a house on five acres that was surrounded by outbuildings and trees, a house that provided privacy. The new home was small yet required a lot of work. Shelly quickly assigned responsibilities to everyone else. While she sat in front of the television, shane slept in Nikki's closet with just a blanket. Kathy slept on the living room floor. The living room floor. Bathing was still not allowed. When Kathy had the privilege of a bath, it consisted of being sprayed outside by the hose. This would happen day or night, regardless of the season. Soap was replaced with bleach. Naturally, the bleach caused immense pain as it seeped into Kathy's wounds. When it became too unbearable, kathy would squirm and try to run away. Dave, or sometimes Shane, would bind her arms and legs with duct tape to keep her immobile. She screamed too loudly. Shelly would place the tape over her mouth as well. Speaking of Dave, where was he in all of this? He worked and lived five hours away during the week, only returning home on the weekends. When he did, he never questioned the circumstances that awaited him. He believed Shelly was trying to help Kathy, that Kathy was afraid of the horrendous children, that Kathy deserved her punishments, which included him kicking her in the head with his steel-toed boots. Dave blamed himself for not being a better husband or father. If he were, shelly wouldn't have been so stressed, whether he truly believed Shelly or just convinced himself the fantasy of the person he wished she to be was real. Dave always had her back. Kathy's spot on the floor was soon moved to the outdoor pump house. She had tried to run away multiple times, but Shelly always found her and always brought her back home. As a punishment, kathy was locked in the 4 foot by 4 foot pump house. Shelly wouldn't have to watch her then. The torture continued as waterboarding was added to Shelly's arsenal. Soon Kathy couldn't hold her own body weight. Her gaze glanced over and she no longer focused. Her speech became garbled and incoherent. Clearly some irreversible brain damage had occurred. One day, shelly decided to allow Kathy a proper shower indoors and had her two older girls assist. While attempting to get Kathy into the tub, she slipped, knocking the glass door down, sending it into pieces, kathy right along with it. In addition to her baseline wounds, kathy's abdomen and legs were now bleeding profusely and needed stitches. Instead, shelly wrapped rags around her and brought her to the laundry room to rest. Shelly was gracious enough to let Kathy stay in the laundry room. Dave returned home for the weekend. Shelly was taking Sammy and Tori to pick Nikki up from work, leaving Dave and Shane home with Kathy. Almost immediately Dave heard an animal-like sound coming from the laundry room. He investigated to find Kathy choking on her own vomit. After clearing her airway, dave noticed Kathy was not breathing. He frantically performed CPR to no avail. Kathy was finally at peace. Her body was not allowed to rest. Taking the children to a nearby hotel with a pool, shelly left Dave to burn Kathy's body and belongings in the backyard. To camouflage the smell, he added some old tires to the flames. When the fire was out, dave collected the ashes and bone fragments, depositing them into the ocean. Shelly calmly relayed a story to the children and to Dave. Keeping with her previous tale, kathy left with her boyfriend Rocky. The story was followed with a threat If anyone tells what truly happened, shelly would change the story to implicate the snitch as Kathy's killer. Why didn't Kathy leave? Were the medications cloning her judgment? Probably Did she understand that her abuse meant the children were a bit safer. Probably that too. Shelly groomed Kathy. She initially built her up, giving her responsibilities and, in a way, power. Then she ripped the rug out from under her. She humiliated her, tortured her. Initially Kathy was confused and felt she must have done something wrong to make Shelly act that way. As Kathy's persona was dismantled, she began to realize there was nothing she could do. Where would she go? She had been successfully isolated from family, family that, from her perspective, didn't seem to miss her all that much. Ultimately, kathy feared Shelly, as did they all. Kathy's only option was to survive, and she did for as long as she could. Sources for this episode can be found in the show notes. I'm going to drop another episode later this week detailing Shelly's other adult victim, ron Until. Then, stay strong and wherever you are in your journey, always remember you are not alone. Find more information, register as a guest or leave a review by going to the website oneandthreepodcastcom. That's the number one. I-n the number three podcastcom. Follow one and three on Instagram, facebook and Twitter at oneandthreepodcast To help me out. Please remember to rate, review and subscribe. One and three is a.5. Pinoy production music written and performed by Tim Crow.